Don’t give me that look guys. I’m certainly in a relationship for more than odd years now, but it’s just that the term”MARRIAGE” freaks the hell out of me. I love LOVE, I mean I love the whole LOVE thingy. It’s just so comforting and relaxing. Marriage seems to be the opposite of it, gloomy and stress.
My mom always tells me falling in love is like a honeymoon, all sweet and heavenly but marriage is totally different. It’s how much you both are willing to commit and sacrifice and fight for each other that makes your love story happily ever after. Wow!!! that’s like seriously a HUGE thing to me. I’m much of an understanding person and I’m a “WANT” not a “NEED” person. Sometimes those two terms are complicated in life, way too complicated.
Honestly, most of my school and college friends are married and few have kids too. Never attended any of them, My bad I kept traveling. It was nice to see how they worked on their wedding plans and their dresses and lights and music and the food obviously. Such an incredible feeling isn’t it?!?! Every girl wants to have a beautiful wedding like it’s the only best day in her life. I want it too but not right now, I just feel I’m not ready for it. I have certain secret GOALS I want to achieve before I get married, is that wrong?!?!
Few of my friends are STAY AT HOME MOM and STAY AT HOME WIFE. I’m not being judgemental about that, it’s just that they say “They Have Lost Their True self”. That feeling is quite disturbing to me. I remember my mom dropping me and my brother at the Kindergarten in the morning and then picking us up in the evening and then the dinner making and the feeding scene. She did check on our homework and stuff. She is such a role model. She did manage with the help of my dad at times. I love the fact that my mom is such a MULTI-TASKING person and an Inspo.
Sometimes I just feel that MARRIAGE has turned out to be an Obstacle for my friends. That really freaks the hell out of me. Are Marriages like that these days?!?! What if it turns out like that?!?!? What if it gets Messy?!?! What if I become like Julia Robert’s Runaway Bride?!?! What if I have to sacrifice myself to save the Marriage?!?! What’s the point in living a life when it’s no more you, I want my future kids to know who I am not who I was? Marriage has very well put on a whole lot of pressure on me lately that, I’m scared I would become a Runaway Bride.
I feel marriage is not just two human beings getting together for a happily ever after. I mean it’s about two families getting to know each other , supporting each other and being there for each other forever. Remember it takes two to “TANGO”. Actually speaking, I’m this crazy person who is afraid of the “Unknowns”. Not everything turns out colorful and bright, few turn out wacky and gloomy. Sometimes we just wish that we don’t get hurt by the “Unknowns”.
We, girls, love that crazy idiotic handsome another half so much that we don’t want to let go no matter whether it’s a life or death situation. Once we get into the turmoil, marriage turns out messy and finally we are the once that get hurt. That really freaks me out. Fights are okay but prolonging it turns it messy. I just feel I lack confidence in MARRIAGE. After all, I wish for a happily ever after too. I wish to get married but not at the cost of ruining 80% of “Us”, “We” &”Our” and 20% of “Me”,”Myself” &”I”.
P.S Bae If your reading this, please don’t take this to your cute small Lovey Dovey heart.
Photo Credits : Pexel